The biggest airline in Canada is Air Canada. I bet they stayed up all night to come up with that name. They were the first to charge the public $25 for the first piece of checked luggage. If your bag is over size and or over weight you could pay around $100 dollars. Hey, Get Off My Lawn.
Now Canada’s so called discount airline West Jet, that Canada rallied behind at it’s inception, has slowly been adding those irritating little charges. Now they want to charge you for more leg room if you sit in the exit isle. There’s a higher priced ticket if you want a box lunch. Think of that, Airline food in a box. I bet there’ll be a line up for that perk. They are even going as far as to charge for Wi-Fi. This added on to the extra you pay for your bag and fuel surcharges, has brought what they’re charging in line with Air Canada. West-Jet seems to be following the business model set up by American Healthcare. You pay for every little thing.
If the air carriers are starting charging for things as stupid as leg room, here are a few suggestions what the airlines could charge extra for;
The person that is not wearing any deodorant. This person is always seated next to you. He or She is the one that is the first person up with arms raised high, to grab their carry on from the bin above. This person should pay more.
On the other hand, charge the old lady seated 5 rows in front of you, that wears a gallon of perfume a lot more. The scent permeates your clothing, so that when you get off the flight and hug your wife, she thinks you and a 90 year old church lady joined The Mile High Club.
When you charge for baggage if forces folks to pack everything in a carry on. There is always the one or two people that have stuffed so much into their carry on it can’t fit into the overhead compartment. Thus while they wrestle with it like some UFC cage fighter, they block the isle’s before take off and trying to pry the bag out on landing. This holds everyone up behind them. Instant Extra Charge for these people.
If they’re going to charge for Wi-Fi they should have to police it like the Chinese Government. So that, when that guy beside you streams really crappy music and plays it so loud that people 3 rows over can hear it…all through his head phones, slap him upside the head with EXTRA charges. Oh It’s Kanye.
If airlines are going to charge for extra leg room in the emergency exit isle, everyone else that has to chew on their knees for the flight, should get a BIG discount. Less leg room = lower price. Then there’s the Seat Kicker. Any one that does this during a flight should have to pay more or their parent should. Collected at the end of the flight.
Airlines have said, people complain about these extra charges for a while but they finally accept it and pay up. Maybe the airlines should be forced to pay up. How about offering a $100 credit for every minute they’re late in landing? Just a thought.
I hope these suggestions help the airlines bottom line. I feel sorry for the crews on board a plane. They’re the ones that take the brunt of a plane filled with pissed off people. I’m sure you can think of other ways for airlines to collect extra fees. Don’t be shy, leave a comment below. Hey Airlines…”Get Off My Lawn”
Bryan Cox (Speaker, Comedian, Author, Radio Host/Producer)