Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

Would You Report.. a Jewish Family

There’s trouble looming on The Lawn. “Hey, Get Off My Lawn” has been my radio show for the last 10 years or so. It was so amazing how NBC ABC CBS FOX CNN and more, offered interviews with all their major stars. I felt so honoured. I even went as far as to copyright the show. Ah, not far enough.


Now, there is a group called CRTV (Gaston Mooney) and Gavin McInnes that feel it’s ok to use the name, “Get Off My Lawn”. I contacted them stating that I spent 10 years and many many unpaid hours building up that name and asked them to stop using it. They told me that “copyright” did not cover the name and I should have taken out a trademark. For my part..lesson learned the hard way. I shot myself in the foot.


If the law say’s it’s ok does that necessarily make it… right? There is a human side to this whole thing. Let’s say that Gaston Mooney and Gavin McInnes were working in Germany during WWII. The law said “Turn in a Jewish Family and you’ll be rewarded.” You (CRTV) would turn in a Jewish family for your own personal gain. You wouldn’t think, that maybe, you’re ruining a persons life, a person’s livelihood and reputation. This is the human side of your actions. Oh, but the law said it was ok, so that must make it “right.”


For all of you with an Internet Property that you want to protect please look at Trademark vs Copyright. It doesn’t matter how many hours you put into it…Just Protect It. I don’t want to see you ripped off like I was. REMEMBER…There are some very unscrupulous people out there, that are ready to steal every idea you’ve put out.

In my opinion, that when CRTV’s Gaston and Gavin are in the slime bar that they drink in, they should go to the bathroom, each buy a condom and stretch it over their entire body. Because if you’re going to be a DICK, you should really dress like one.


I wish you both luck with the stolen show name Get Off My Lawn.
From the original show, mine…Hey, CRTV..”Get The “FUCK” Off My Lawn!!!”
If you’d like to leave a comment, I’d love it. If you’d like to send a comment to Gaston Mooney and Gavin McInnes

This is my is my opinion



10 New Murphy’s Laws

A New Look at Murphy’s Law

Murphy’s Law (“If anything can go wrong, it will”) was born at Edwards Air Force Base in 1949 at North Base.


It was named after Capt. Edward A. Murphy, an engineer working on Air Force Projects.


After finding a transducer was wired wrong, he cursed the technician responsible and said, “If there is any way to do it wrong, he’ll find it.”


It’s been said about Murphy’s death, “One dark evening, Mr. Murphy’s car ran out of gas. As he hitchhiked to a gas station, while facing traffic and wearing white, he was struck from behind by a British tourist who was driving on the wrong side of the road.”


Nowadays we see that Murphy’s Law is still alive and well. Here are 10 quick examples for you.


–Fill the open tray bird feeder…It will snow or rain.


–At the intersection, the guy in front of you will alway turn his signal light on as the light turns green.


–The airport washroom automatic faucet will turn off way before your finished washing your hands.


–When sending an email, you will forget “send to all.”


–The quicker you need information from the internet, is directly correlated with password memory.


–Waiting for a meal at a restaurant, you know it will arrive, just as you go outside for a smoke or go to the washroom.


–Guys, when your wife asks you to do something, you will realize that you did it wrong and it will be pointed out that there are better ways of doing it.


–When you fill your tank, the price of gas will fall the next day.


–Your cat will have puked directly in your path, as you walk out of a dark room in bare feet.


–The day that 5 hookers send you friend requests on Facebook, you wife decides to check your page.


Bryan Cox (Radio Host, Author, Speaker)

3 Possible Fake News Stories

The Medical Industry is in Bed with Soft Water Companies and Opthamologists


Trips and Falls

To keep medicine rocking they need business so the soft water folks are working with them to make tubs and showers super slippery. You know what I mean if you’ve ever showered in soft water. You end up doing some kind of weird Michael Jackson dance when trying to get out or in. Just how many people that fall and injure themselves, have soft water?
Plus, they say that you should listen to your favourite song in the shower. To save water, you should be finished when the song ends. With soft water, to get that real squeaky feel to your skin like with hard water, the song should be In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida or any entire Beethoven Symphony.


Another group that add to trips and falls, especially for older folks, are the optometrists and opthamologists. These Doctors prescribe Bi-Focals which are now called “progressive lenses”. If you don’t have them, let me explain, each lens is made up with two parts, when you look through the top half of the glass you see normally. When you look through the bottom half everything looks huge, which is good for reading. The question is, do folks wearing progressive lenses fall on stairs more because they are looking through the bottom half?

falling-downThese stairs must look huge. I myself, offer them to my wife when I come to bed (Wink Wink)

Big Brother is Watching???


Where I live the phone company offers a lot. They offer a TV service with a ton of channels, Phone service, Internet and even home security. So if the police want to find you or find out about you, all they have to do is make one call …to the phone company. They’ll know if you’re home or not home, who you’re talking to, what TV shows you like and what kind of porn you like.

                                                   Your DNA is Under Attack



Recently I’ve noticed a huge advertising push for DNA. If the cops were to come up to you on the street and ask for your DNA, I’m pretty sure I’d know what you’d say. If a company advertises for your DNA with an offer that they’ll tell you where you came from and what diseases you “might” get, that’s just fine. All you have to do is send them a sample of your DNA and you pay them to do that. One commercial stands out. A lady says, a lot of my friends ask me, what am I? So she sends her DNA in and finds out she’s…asian, indian and whatever. Listen, if you’ve people are coming up to you and asking what you are…you need to find a better group of “friends”, girl.

Here it is, you send you’re DNA to a company you don’t know and they send you some pie chart of fluffy information back in the mail. What then, is your DNA kept on file for law enforcement agencies? Is it being used in experiments? Is your DNA being spliced with an alien life form that they captured years before? Oh, and they have them, you know that. I’ve also found out that those DNA kits don’t make the best baby shower gift!


This was just a little finger poking fun at some of the “theories” that are out there. So watch out for Fake News because this is the kind of stuff they grab on to.

                                       Always question never accept!


Bryan Cox (Radio Host, Comedian, Author and humble guy)

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Top 15 Signs of Age and Aging



Hey, Baby Boomer so you’re getting older and you don’t know what to expect. Try these on for size.


You know you’re getting old….when you can remember the day when you could pronounce all the NHL’s players names, Mahovlich was the hardest. (Canada)


When someone offers you a “joint” now you automatically think, ‘would that be a knee or hip?’


You order the super TV pack, just because it has the Weather Channel.


Back in the day, we remember yelling “Hey, Culligan Man”. Today we know why. He’s the only one that’ll come running when you slip in the tub.


Becoming a senior is great, because if you happen to end up in prison, you won’t be getting all those romantic looks from cellblock D.


Becoming a senior means you understand you really won’t be getting romantic looks from anyone.


Getting older means some bodily functions are like swallowing scrabble tiles. You know one good sneeze, could spell disaster.


When you and your buddies wanted to go to the Drive-In. The ones with no money always got in….in the trunk.
You can remember when a “Race Issue” was arguing about who ran the fastest.


We finally understand why babies are so cantankerous … plastic and paper underwear.


The kids today love the movie”Frozen.” We lived it, always playing hockey on an outdoor rink no matter the temperature. (Canada and Alaska)


You end up having to wear Bi-Focals or the new term, Progressive Lenses. This is good guys, everything is so much larger when you look through the bottom half of the glasses. Just make your wife wear them to bed.


You remember how our sense of humour was formed around Grade One. OH, how our parents laughed, when you asked for a ride to school. “What are ya kid, some kind of comedian?”


Remembering that when you had a job, phoning in fake sick on the weekend was not an option. Your parents made you go to work. Hey, they’d even give you a ride. A ride to school NO WAY but ride to work…Oh, Hell Ya!


To the old and young never be afraid to speak out and up. The most important saying you need to know that can apply to so may people and so much in your life, is “Hey, Get Off My Lawn!”


You think that the Led Zeppelin cover band performing at the old folks home, should have sang “Stairlift to Heaven.”
   So to the seniors that are feeling shelved, it’s time to get up read a paper, watch the news, learn something new on the computer and most important of all, stay engaged with your surroundings with a sense of humour. Don’t let yesterday use up to much of today.
   To all the kids and grandkids, call you’re parents and tell them you’re thinking of them and you love them, while you still have the chance. Remember you always learn lessons from their past, which gives you the future, where you can apply them.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. If you laughed give it a “like” and pass it on. If you didn’t “Hey Get Off My Lawn”


Bryan Cox (Radio Host, Speaker, Comedian and Author)

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The Top 8 New North Carolina Concerts

“First in Flight” that’s what it says on North Carolina license plates. Maybe they should change that to “First to Slight.” Their draconian anti-gay laws are causing shock waves Worldwide. 




 Entertainers have stepped up and refused to play the State because of it. The list is growing day by day, Bruce Springsteen, Miley Cyrus, Ringo Starr even Circus du Soleil. I say, don’t worry North Carolina, there are a lot of acts out there that will keep you entertained.



Some acts haven’t cancelled but have spoken out against your anti-gay laws, like Jimmy Buffett, who by the way, hasn’t had a real hit since 1977. You’ll still be able to see Cyndi Lauper, who had a massive hit in 1983 and Greg Allman will still perform and I’m sure you’ll sing along with his hit “Ramblin’ Man” from 1973. Sounds to me you welcome the old acts. Next it’ll be “The Spinners”, not the singing act but the guy that spins plates on sticks, whose last big gig was on the “Ed Sullivan Show.”


This summer look for an action packed replacement Concert Calender North Carolina.
                         — Rock out to “Bruce Springstern”, a very “serious” cover band.
                         — Then “Bingo Stars” will be drumming on fresh deer hide stretched over 50 gallon oil drums” Like the Blue Man Group but with a twinge of “Hillbilly”
                         — For all old North Carolina men, it’s the must see replacement Miley Cyrus concert….. Just a stripper.


Don’t cry Circus fans, replacing the amazing Circus du Soleil there’s “Billy Bob’s Armadillo and Flea Circus.” The kids will be itching to go to that one.
   We can’t forget what North Carolina is known for, Comedy. This summer and all through the year, you’ll be treated to entertainments best Comedians. All the laughs will be supplied by the politicians you voted for.


2016 called and they want you to join in North Carolina. Until then “Hey Get Off My Lawn”


Bryan Cox (Radio Host, Speaker, Author)

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Darren Kavinoky from “Deadly Sins”

Darren Kavinoky and I sat down and had a great chat on the radio feature “Hey, Get Off My Lawn.” Darren has been seen on CNN, HLN, Inside Edition and on his own show “Deadly Sins” on Investigation Discovery. This interview is very revealing and give you a peek at the man behind the camera. Hope you enjoy this as much as I did chatting with him.



Bryan Cox (Radio Host, Comedian, Author and Speaker)

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Why the Canadian and American Chickens Crossed The Road?

Why The American Chicken Crossed The Road.


DONALD TRUMP… We will build a big wall to keep illegal chickens from crossing the road. We will have a door for legal chickens.

JOHN KERRY… We will trust the chicken to tell us whether it crossed the road or not.

CHRIS CHRISTIE… We need to waterboard that chicken to find out why it crossed the road.

RAND PAUL… It’s none of our business why the chicken crossed the road.

NANCY PELOSI… We will have to wait until the chicken crosses the road to see what it says.

CARLY FIORINA… Hilary Clinton lied about why the chicken crossed the road.

BRIAN WILLIAMS… I crossed the road with the chicken.

BEN CARSON… This isn’t brain surgery. So why did the chicken cross the road?

SARAH PALIN… The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA… Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

HILLARY CLINTON… What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?

BILL CLINTON… I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE… I invented the chicken.

AL SHARPTON… Why are all the chickens white?

COLONEL SANDERS aka Norm MacDonald… Did I miss one?

Why The Canadian Chicken Crossed The Road.


NICKELBACK… To get away from Justin Beiber and say “Hi” to our fan.

MIKE DUFFY… I legally paid the Chicken to cross the road.

PAMELA WALLIN…What Mike said.

PHILIPPE COUILLARD (Premier of Quebec)…. He wanted to set up his own Chicken Country.

JUSTIN TRUDEAU… It’s not “Road” it’s called “Sunny Way” and to harvest some really nice “Bud”

TOM MULCAIR… He crossed the road to sing “It’s My Party” and “It’s Over”

ELIZABETH MAY… is the road solar powered? Can this chicken provide a carbon free sustainable environment? -I demand a national plebiscite!

STEPHEN HARPER… All chickens with Niqabs should have to remove them to cross the road. Nice hair, though.

BRAD WALL (Premier of Saskatchewan)…To set up our own Pipeline that no one wants, but let it be known, those eastern bastards will freeze.

DAVID FURNISH (married to Elton John) … I’m just glad the Chicken came out of the Coop.

JEAN CHRETIEN…Because I’d choke dat Polet wit de Shawinigan Handshake.

KEVIN O’LEARY (Canadian Millionaire) …. The chicken did the work crossing the road and earned the right … to gaze at ME.

CONRAD BLACK… The Chicken is and felt inadequate, because I know more than anybody or that Chicken.

BOB PAULSON (Commissioner of the RCMP)… To get out of the force. None of us laid a hand on that girl.

JUSTIN BEIBER…To retrive the eggs I throw and look for my talent.

HOWIE MANDEL…That Chicken is covered in germs…get away, get away.

Bryan Cox (Radio Host, Comedian, Author, Speaker)

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