Archive for the ‘Newspapers’ Category

5 Terror Attacks in Saskatoon

   I like to find humour in all situations that might pop up, but not this. As I watched little children be evacuated from a Saskatoon School the other day because of“suspicious powder”, my heart sank. There have 5 such attacks on various institutions over the span of a week, including a Hospital Cancer Clinic. There is some sick piece of ****, you fill in the word there, that thinks pulling fake terror attacks is funny.

 

Here’s the school being evacuated

 

   The Saskatoon Police have said on a tv report, that if the person is caught, he/she would be charged with “Mischief.” I contacted Saskatoon Police and they never returned my call. If you were to leave a bag of suspicious powder or a pipe with wires coming out of it, in the bathroom on an airplane, I’m pretty sure you’d would be charge with an act of terror and treated like a terrorist. Sure one is Municipal and the other is Federal. Does this say that the municipal law has to catch up to the Federal law in cases of terrorism? The Criminal Code is the Criminal Code. For clarification I contacted the Saskatchewan Government Justice Dept. Yup, you guessed it, no comment there either. When it comes to terror we all should be on the same page and that’s what Canada’s Criminal Code does…

 

“The definition of “terrorist activity” in section 83.01 of the Criminal Code has two components. The first component incorporates a series of offences enacted to implement international legal instruments against terrorism. The second, more general, stand-alone component, states that a “terrorist activity” is an act or omission undertaken “in whole or in part for a political, religious, or ideological purpose, objective or cause” that is intended to intimidate the public or compel a person, government or organization to do or refrain from doing any act, if the act or omission intentionally causes a specified serious harm. Specified harms include causing death or serious bodily harm, endangering life, causing a serious risk to health or safety, causing substantial property damage where it would also cause one of the above listed harms and, in certain circumstances, causing serious interference or disruption of an essential service, facility or system, whether public or private. No where does it mention “Mischief.”

 

The penalty is up to life in prison for terrorist activity. If and when the police catch the person or persons doing this, adult…prision! If it’s a kid, they should be charged with a terror offence. Maybe put on the No Fly list forever and be fined the cost of everything incurred. That would include each location staff salaries for the day, cost of police, fire, ambulance. If they are to young to pay, then their parents should pay.

 

Here’s the emergency response

 

   I think we’ve gone way passed yelling fire in a crowded theatre. Pulling the odd fire alarm, like some of us might have done in school, is “Mischief”, but sending possibly deadly powder is a whole different ball game. They caused parents, little children, hospital staff and patients to be terrorized. Businesses, Schools and a Hospital to be disrupted. They also took emergency services away from people that might have really needed them. As it turned out every package was harmless.

 

   My hat is off to the way the fire and police depts handled every situation. Very professional. So I leave it to you, in todays World, is sending a bag of powder to an institution a terror attack (fake or not) or mischief? To the cowardly piece of crap that sent the packages, be afraid very afraid, because you will be found and “Hey, Get Off My Lawn”!

 

Bryan Cox (Radio Host, Author, Speaker, Comedian)

Advertisements

10 New Murphy’s Laws

A New Look at Murphy’s Law

Murphy’s Law (“If anything can go wrong, it will”) was born at Edwards Air Force Base in 1949 at North Base.

 

It was named after Capt. Edward A. Murphy, an engineer working on Air Force Projects.

 

After finding a transducer was wired wrong, he cursed the technician responsible and said, “If there is any way to do it wrong, he’ll find it.”

 

It’s been said about Murphy’s death, “One dark evening, Mr. Murphy’s car ran out of gas. As he hitchhiked to a gas station, while facing traffic and wearing white, he was struck from behind by a British tourist who was driving on the wrong side of the road.”

 

Nowadays we see that Murphy’s Law is still alive and well. Here are 10 quick examples for you.

 

–Fill the open tray bird feeder…It will snow or rain.

 

–At the intersection, the guy in front of you will alway turn his signal light on as the light turns green.

 

–The airport washroom automatic faucet will turn off way before your finished washing your hands.

 

–When sending an email, you will forget “send to all.”

 

–The quicker you need information from the internet, is directly correlated with password memory.

 

–Waiting for a meal at a restaurant, you know it will arrive, just as you go outside for a smoke or go to the washroom.

 

–Guys, when your wife asks you to do something, you will realize that you did it wrong and it will be pointed out that there are better ways of doing it.

 

–When you fill your tank, the price of gas will fall the next day.

 

–Your cat will have puked directly in your path, as you walk out of a dark room in bare feet.

 

–The day that 5 hookers send you friend requests on Facebook, you wife decides to check your page.

 

Bryan Cox (Radio Host, Author, Speaker)

3 Possible Fake News Stories

The Medical Industry is in Bed with Soft Water Companies and Opthamologists

shower-blog1

Trips and Falls

To keep medicine rocking they need business so the soft water folks are working with them to make tubs and showers super slippery. You know what I mean if you’ve ever showered in soft water. You end up doing some kind of weird Michael Jackson dance when trying to get out or in. Just how many people that fall and injure themselves, have soft water?
Plus, they say that you should listen to your favourite song in the shower. To save water, you should be finished when the song ends. With soft water, to get that real squeaky feel to your skin like with hard water, the song should be In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida or any entire Beethoven Symphony.

 

Another group that add to trips and falls, especially for older folks, are the optometrists and opthamologists. These Doctors prescribe Bi-Focals which are now called “progressive lenses”. If you don’t have them, let me explain, each lens is made up with two parts, when you look through the top half of the glass you see normally. When you look through the bottom half everything looks huge, which is good for reading. The question is, do folks wearing progressive lenses fall on stairs more because they are looking through the bottom half?

falling-downThese stairs must look huge. I myself, offer them to my wife when I come to bed (Wink Wink)

Big Brother is Watching???

ombb

Where I live the phone company offers a lot. They offer a TV service with a ton of channels, Phone service, Internet and even home security. So if the police want to find you or find out about you, all they have to do is make one call …to the phone company. They’ll know if you’re home or not home, who you’re talking to, what TV shows you like and what kind of porn you like.

                                                   Your DNA is Under Attack

dna-genes-1

 

Recently I’ve noticed a huge advertising push for DNA. If the cops were to come up to you on the street and ask for your DNA, I’m pretty sure I’d know what you’d say. If a company advertises for your DNA with an offer that they’ll tell you where you came from and what diseases you “might” get, that’s just fine. All you have to do is send them a sample of your DNA and you pay them to do that. One commercial stands out. A lady says, a lot of my friends ask me, what am I? So she sends her DNA in and finds out she’s…asian, indian and whatever. Listen, if you’ve people are coming up to you and asking what you are…you need to find a better group of “friends”, girl.

 
Here it is, you send you’re DNA to a company you don’t know and they send you some pie chart of fluffy information back in the mail. What then, is your DNA kept on file for law enforcement agencies? Is it being used in experiments? Is your DNA being spliced with an alien life form that they captured years before? Oh, and they have them, you know that. I’ve also found out that those DNA kits don’t make the best baby shower gift!

 

This was just a little finger poking fun at some of the “theories” that are out there. So watch out for Fake News because this is the kind of stuff they grab on to.

                                       Always question never accept!

 

Bryan Cox (Radio Host, Comedian, Author and humble guy)

Get Off Of My Promo Pic400x300

The Top 8 Things Donald Trump Will Do After

After months and months of nauseous, continuous coverage of Clinton and Trump, most folks want it to be over. So when it is actually over, this begs the question, what then for Donald Trump?

gettyimages-485215026-770x330

The Top 8 things Donald Trump Will Do After The Election.

 

—He’ll hold gender sensitivity seminars for NFL Players.

—You remember you were told, when a boy hits or bullies you, it means he’s hot for you? The Donald will divorce and marry again. Happy Happy wedding day Megyn Kelly.

—Donald Trump could start up a luggage line, selling Bags of Deplorables.

—Mr. Trump will become buddies with more of Russia’s leadership. You can never have enough “Red Ties.”

—Rumour has it, He’ll record a new version of the Johnny Cash hit… “A Boy Named, I’ll Sue”

—Watch for the launch of Trump TV. He’ll put the Trump twist on some of the top rating getters like, “Orange is the New Trump”, “The Walking Trump”, Game of Trump Thrones” and so on.

 
— Don’t miss “The Donald Trump Hockey School.” This is where you’ll learn to, skate on taxes.

—The Donald will start up an on-line Men’s Discount Club called, “Grope-On.”

Just a few suggestions and thoughts for Mr. Trump if things don’t go your way in this election. For me, I’d like both candidates, “Off My Lawn”

Get Off Of My Promo Pic400x300

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bryan Cox (Radio Host, Author, Comedian, Speaker)

Newspapers Sway the Vote

Saying the print media is fair and impartial today is like having a Kardashian get upset with the paparazzi.

headlines-1

   What is happening people? I spent about 30 years in the radio and TV industries and when it came to politics we were always told to show both sides of a story. In Radio and TV, if you watch or listen long enough, you might see what side that network tends to “dress” to. Sure you’ve got certain hosts that are right or left, but very rarely do you have an entire network come out and endorse one candidate or the other. We were always told that if you were going to do a story on Politics, Religion, Sex or even that accident at the corner, just report the facts and as enticing as it may be, keep your personal opinions to yourself.

   Newspapers are a big part of the media landscape, whether online or printed. They’ve been around longer than radio or TV and were the source of news for hundreds of years. They too were always told to keep things impartial.
The *trusted and fair* print media, has really started to piss me off. It seems they’ve gone over the edge from having a few slanted opinion articles to a full blown voter convince-a-thon. The New York and LA Times along many more are actually coming out and endorsing one Presidential Candidate over the other. Even the National Enquirer has done an endorsement.

   Newspapers have an editorial board made up of big boss company executives, opinion writers and editors. They ask each candidate questions and if they all agree with the answers the newspaper endorses a candidate. So it comes down to if the movers and shakers in the company like it, that’s the law of the land.
The newsroom is separate and is to keep a impartial view of the candidates. We live in a time where newspaper business is hanging on by a thread. Just maybe, the “impartial” newsroom journalists are trying to figure out how to keep their job? This kind of reminds me of what every parent has said to their kid, “If everyone jumps off a bridge…are you going to jump off a bridge.?”

   People want to make up their own minds and not have you tell them how to vote. Now that you have shown bias, how can the public trust reporting?
What’s next for newspapers? I was thinking that there might be a few other endorsements that they’ve have missed,

salemwitchtrialsPuritanism … the only true religion. Join us for the NY Times endorsed witch burning in Times Square.

 

h35f2f219Kim Jong Un like Hitler… just a misunderstood guy with a cool haircut.

roger-ailes_and_bill_cosbySex…The LA Times endorses the Roger Ailes and Bill Cosby NFL “Sensitivity to Women” seminar.

   Most people make up their minds on who they’re going vote for from information supplied by the media. I praise the newspapers that have come out and stopped endorsing political candidates. That list is growing every election cycle. For the newspapers that think it’s their civic duty and still endorse, “Hey, Get Off My Lawn.”

Get Off Of My Promo Pic400x300

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bryan Cox (Radio Host, Comedian, Speaker and Author)