What The Cancer Society Did…Shocking!

I thought being told that I have Cancer was shocking enough, but my treatment from the Canadian Cancer Society was even more shocking.

 

When the charity money pie is getting smaller, you have to come up with creative and innovative ideas to get a slice. The Canadian Cancer Society was approached with a National Fundraising idea.
I called the national 800 number with the cool fundraising idea. The Canadian Cancer Society and they told me, that I would have to call my local office with any fundraising ideas. After reaching out to the local office with three calls and leaving my number for a call back, I got tired of waiting, yes, waiting for 2 weeks. It was only after I complained to the National office, that there was a call back with apology after apology. They listened to the fundraising idea and told me to contact the National Office because it was a national fundraising idea. The only time I’ve seen such back and forth action was at a tennis match or dealing with the Federal Government. Finally the National Office was available to hear the idea. The reception was warm and enthusiastic. So I asked them if we could partner up on this and what can they do to help. Enthusiastically, they said they would get back to me. Well, it’s been a month and NO REPLY. Not an email, not a call, not a letter, nothing. Taking the bull by the horns, I sent a complaint email to the National office and finally got a call with you guessed it, apology after apology. It’s now to late to run this fundraising idea.

 

   You might think this is a person whining about the fact his idea wasn’t embraced by the Canadian Cancer Society, but it’s rather, a complaint about The Canadian Cancer Society not doing everything they can do to help fund the fight against Cancer. They do a lot with what they have, but the door to door begging campaign and jail n bail are tired, old fundraising ideas from the 80’s. Today they need to refresh their thinking patterns. Grasp the new and different.

 

   The Cancer Societies idea of grasping the new, is to hit up major corporations like the Credit Card Companies, Major Banks. They even tap local businesses on a constant basis. It’s getting to the point where those businesses actually are “Not Available” when they see a charity heading towards their door. It’s a lot like when you see that door to door canvasser coming up to your house, all of a sudden, you’re not home.

 

   If you’re a big Corp and want to raise funds for the Canadian Cancer Society, you’ll be welcomed with open arms. I’ve learned that if you are a just a guy with Cancer and an idea that could raise thousands, you’ll be waiting a long time. You might as well wait for peace in the Middle East. In some cases it’s time you don’t have. When you have Cancer, you need action, you haven’t got time to listen to apologies.

 

   If anyone want’s a good fundraising idea for a charity, contact me and we’ll talk. As for the Canadian Cancer Society…. Hey Get Off My Lawn !

Bryan Cox (Radio Host, Author, Comedian)

Ok, Gave It Up, Call Me A Quitter!

    Well, it’s been around the 6 month mark of not smoking. After 2 bouts with Cancer, putting up with constant nagging from Doctors, family to good friends, I thought maybe, it’s time. 40 years was long enough. It wasn’t the doctors that got to me. Oh God, their stuff is just getting old. They blame *everything* on the fact you smoke. You walk in with a broken toe because you stubbed it, the doc says…”Well the reason you toe broke is because you probably had smoke in your eyes and couldn’t see where you were you were going…I can’t stress enough, QUIT SMOKING”Blah Blah Blah.

   Damn, I loved it though. I find myself cruising used car lots finding and sitting in the cars that were smoked in. I’m even putting car air fresheners in my meat smoker and letting them slow roast over a pack Benson and Hedges, then selling them on the “I used to smoke” Black Market. I’m kind of in a space like a food addict would be in, when he discovers there’s a food channel.

   Life changes for you and those around you when you don’t smoke. Some good and some bad.

   Loneliness? oh hell ya, No more going outside when it’s -40 making new friends with folks that love to say, “Cold enough for ya”.

   NOW, I have to be like every other guy on the Planet and fall asleep after SEX, because there’s no more smokin’ SORRY ladies no more chatting.  OK, I can here the jokes…”what no more smokin’, have you looked?”

  Yes folks, thanks to me band-aid companies will go broke and thousands will be out of job. No more going to pull the cigarette out of my mouth and as my fingers slide down just to have the burning end comes off between my fore and middle finger.

   Yes it will be my fault that the environment will end up in the dumper..no more saving my empties to afford a 15 dollar (Canada) pack of smokes. Yes, this is also a picture of every lonely non smoking Canadian Comedian, in his natural Habitat.

   One good thing about quiting smoking, is that there is more of an employment opportunity for kids coming out of school …. in the Anger Management field.

   No more burn marks on my cars back seat. That’s right no more butts being pushed back in the car by the wind when I flick them out of the window. This means we can say GOOD BYE to the Mom and Pop Car Upholstery business.

   I thought because I owned an iPhone and a Mac computer made me enough of a self righteous ass. Now lets add in, the looking down your nose non-smoker, Holy Crap, pretty soon this will be me. It’s always so nice …above the water.

But back to that Loneliness thing again.

   Come to think of it, I had more friends when I smoked. I think because I was more of an even keel. Sure I make fun of it, but know it’s better for me and everyone else that hangs out around me. This bit, by the way, was only about quitting smoking cigarettes.  Even though I don’t use them any more, I’m still in love with Cigarettes, ….butt soon, very soon I’ll be able to  say to them, “Hey, Get Off My Lawn”.

Bryan Cox,  (Radio Host/Comedian/Speaker/Author/Lover of the Back/Slash