Archive for the ‘Sirius/XM’ Category

The Top 8 New North Carolina Concerts

“First in Flight” that’s what it says on North Carolina license plates. Maybe they should change that to “First to Slight.” Their draconian anti-gay laws are causing shock waves Worldwide. 

 

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 Entertainers have stepped up and refused to play the State because of it. The list is growing day by day, Bruce Springsteen, Miley Cyrus, Ringo Starr even Circus du Soleil. I say, don’t worry North Carolina, there are a lot of acts out there that will keep you entertained.

 

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Some acts haven’t cancelled but have spoken out against your anti-gay laws, like Jimmy Buffett, who by the way, hasn’t had a real hit since 1977. You’ll still be able to see Cyndi Lauper, who had a massive hit in 1983 and Greg Allman will still perform and I’m sure you’ll sing along with his hit “Ramblin’ Man” from 1973. Sounds to me you welcome the old acts. Next it’ll be “The Spinners”, not the singing act but the guy that spins plates on sticks, whose last big gig was on the “Ed Sullivan Show.”

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This summer look for an action packed replacement Concert Calender North Carolina.
                         — Rock out to “Bruce Springstern”, a very “serious” cover band.
                         — Then “Bingo Stars” will be drumming on fresh deer hide stretched over 50 gallon oil drums” Like the Blue Man Group but with a twinge of “Hillbilly”
                         — For all old North Carolina men, it’s the must see replacement Miley Cyrus concert….. Just a stripper.

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Don’t cry Circus fans, replacing the amazing Circus du Soleil there’s “Billy Bob’s Armadillo and Flea Circus.” The kids will be itching to go to that one.
   We can’t forget what North Carolina is known for, Comedy. This summer and all through the year, you’ll be treated to entertainments best Comedians. All the laughs will be supplied by the politicians you voted for.

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2016 called and they want you to join in North Carolina. Until then “Hey Get Off My Lawn”

 

Bryan Cox (Radio Host, Speaker, Author)

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The Razor Blade Made Radio

Razor-Blades__74514_zoom   The little razor blade played a big part in radio broadcasting. DJ’s, Production and News people, pretty well everybody at the radio station, had a use for this tiny sharpie. During the 20’s and right up to the 50’s it wasn’t used much but through the 60’s through to the 90’s it was a mainstay in radio studios everywhere. One of the main uses of the razor blade was editing taped interviews, songs, commercials and oh, so much more.

   Working with just the ear and a grease pencil one could become very adept at almost seeing sound on the audio tape.

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   In the hippy era DJ’s had long hair, very unshaven proving we were cool, but we still had to go out and do live broadcasts from an advertisers location (doing a “remote”). Management and or the radio salesman would hand you a hint, before you went out saying “Clean up your act!”

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   Then there was the all important “Show Prep” for announcers in the 60’s and on. “Show Prep happened before a shift or sometimes during, usually during an album cut like “Inna-A-Godda-Davida.”

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   Being an announcer back in the day meant that you had to exist on Mac & Cheese and if you wanted to splurge…wieners. When you brought leftovers to work the next day, to spice things up a bit, the razor blade came in handy.

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   There were those special days at the radio station when record reps would drop by. They’d want you to play their latest act. The reps always had goodies like key chains, tee-shirts, free albums to hand out to the staff and management. Announcers loved all these incentives. It was always amazing that an act could become a mega group, just for a keychain or a something where a razor blade was needed.

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   Announcers thought they knew what the listener wanted and management thought they knew what the listener wanted, thus there were some disagreements. Like when the Top 40 Station Manager or Program Director heard an announcer play something that wasn’t on the playlist or just didn’t like a song…the razor blade came into use one more time.

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   Some might not know how the lowly razor blade helped personality radio from the 50’s through the 90’s but as you can see it did. For those that worked in radio during that time you know it was a lot of FUN. It was the best job you could have with a Grade 12 education.
Radio has lost a lot of face but we now see that “Personality Radio” is alive and well with its shift to the internet. Good on ya, keep up the great work. As for the “Razor Blade” well it’s gone back to saving faces. Gonna miss ya little buddy!

Bryan Cox ( Radio Host, Speaker, Comic and Author)

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Why the Canadian and American Chickens Crossed The Road?

Why The American Chicken Crossed The Road.

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DONALD TRUMP… We will build a big wall to keep illegal chickens from crossing the road. We will have a door for legal chickens.

JOHN KERRY… We will trust the chicken to tell us whether it crossed the road or not.

CHRIS CHRISTIE… We need to waterboard that chicken to find out why it crossed the road.

RAND PAUL… It’s none of our business why the chicken crossed the road.

NANCY PELOSI… We will have to wait until the chicken crosses the road to see what it says.

CARLY FIORINA… Hilary Clinton lied about why the chicken crossed the road.

BRIAN WILLIAMS… I crossed the road with the chicken.

BEN CARSON… This isn’t brain surgery. So why did the chicken cross the road?

SARAH PALIN… The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he’s a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA… Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

HILLARY CLINTON… What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?

BILL CLINTON… I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE… I invented the chicken.

AL SHARPTON… Why are all the chickens white?

COLONEL SANDERS aka Norm MacDonald… Did I miss one?

Why The Canadian Chicken Crossed The Road.

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NICKELBACK… To get away from Justin Beiber and say “Hi” to our fan.

MIKE DUFFY… I legally paid the Chicken to cross the road.

PAMELA WALLIN…What Mike said.

PHILIPPE COUILLARD (Premier of Quebec)…. He wanted to set up his own Chicken Country.

JUSTIN TRUDEAU… It’s not “Road” it’s called “Sunny Way” and to harvest some really nice “Bud”

TOM MULCAIR… He crossed the road to sing “It’s My Party” and “It’s Over”

ELIZABETH MAY… is the road solar powered? Can this chicken provide a carbon free sustainable environment? -I demand a national plebiscite!

STEPHEN HARPER… All chickens with Niqabs should have to remove them to cross the road. Nice hair, though.

BRAD WALL (Premier of Saskatchewan)…To set up our own Pipeline that no one wants, but let it be known, those eastern bastards will freeze.

DAVID FURNISH (married to Elton John) … I’m just glad the Chicken came out of the Coop.

JEAN CHRETIEN…Because I’d choke dat Polet wit de Shawinigan Handshake.

KEVIN O’LEARY (Canadian Millionaire) …. The chicken did the work crossing the road and earned the right … to gaze at ME.

CONRAD BLACK… The Chicken is and felt inadequate, because I know more than anybody or that Chicken.

BOB PAULSON (Commissioner of the RCMP)… To get out of the force. None of us laid a hand on that girl.

JUSTIN BEIBER…To retrive the eggs I throw and look for my talent.

HOWIE MANDEL…That Chicken is covered in germs…get away, get away.

Bryan Cox (Radio Host, Comedian, Author, Speaker)

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How to Handle a Presidential Heckler

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“Two of the greatest Hecklers of all time”–Bryan Cox

Hillary Clinton got heckled the other day. Her response was, “You’re Rude.” Ok, in my mind, that was being to nice. What the candidates need, is to hire a comedian. There is no one better to write “Heckler Handlers.” The unwritten rule for comedians, is to allow the heckler 3 shots at you, then have the person tossed out. I say to all US Presidential Candidates, don’t toss them after the first shot. Give them the same treatment they’re giving you…a little disrespect. Sure you might get into a bit of trouble for it but it would make for a nice bit on the News. As Trump can testify to, “There’s no such thing as bad press.” Here are few suggestions for all of you.

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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         “I would like you to go to the bathroom and buy a condom…because if you’re going to be a dick, you might as well dress like one.”—Hillary

 

Christie “I could come over there and just *sit* on you. I’m being nice because… I took the letter H out of that.” — Christie

 

Cruz                                                                            “See what happens when we let Canadians in here. What happened to being polite?” — Cruz

 

Rubio

“Well, look what rode in on the “Little Bus””. —Rubio

Carson

“This is why we should teach everything we know about birth control, to our kids.” —Carson

Trump

            “You can stay, but you’re another reason a “wall” is a good idea.” —Trump

Sanders

“You’re so confused you probably think Fleetwood Mac is something from McDonalds.” — Sanders

Bush

  “We have something in common. My poll number seems to match your IQ number.”—Bush

Huckabee

                                  “People ask me “What do you get when cousins mate?”….One, a person that believes Fox News, and the other is that person right there.”—Huckabee.

 

Fiorina

“Nice to see a person that finally has a handle on News Issues, even though it takes him 3 hours to watch “60 Minutes””— Fiorina

Kasich

“Just before the speech tonight that’s the guy that stared at an orange juice container for 3 hours …because it said “concentrate”” — Kasich

Of course none of these folks actually said these lines, but maybe they should start. Any of the candidates can feel free to mix and match any of these, but all I’m saying is “please be a bit more creative” and if all else fails, look to John McCain’s line…”Hey, Get Off My Lawn”

 

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Bryan Cox (Radio Host, Comedian, Author, Speaker)

Two Justin’s…Can We Tell Them Apart?

It used to be a term that you heard on newscast, “This Just In” or on phones at airports, “I’m just in, come and pick me up.” Canada is becoming known as the land of Justins. Two of the most famous are hard to tell apart. Let’s try;

 

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One throws insults in the House ….the other throws eggs at a house.

 

One was born with a silver spoon in his mouth….the other has a silver spoon around his nose.

 

One has a house full of fast and loose cars…the other has a house full of fast and loose Senators.

 

One gave an election promise of drug reform…the other, with all his fast living, might need drugs to get an erection.

 

One can say “pass the salt” in French and English because thats the law…And the “law” say’s to the other, “Here’s a charge of Assault.”

 

One’s named Trudeau…the other is rolling in dough.

 

One charges up a country with the slogan “Sunny Ways”… the other was charged with dangerous driving on “sunny way.”

 

One wants to legalize pot…the other wants Canada to smoke it, to get rid of pain… The pain of embarrassment.

 

One welcomes refugees from all over the World, but tells the US , “please keep that one.”

 

So it goes, the battle of the two Justin’s in the US and in Canada.

 

Bryan Cox (Radio Host/Producer, Author, Comedian, Speaker) and Thanks to Paul Lander (Super Comedy Guy)

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Political Correctness Over The Edge

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   Political Correctness is a subject that translates emotions from both sides of the fence into an exploding war of words. Discussion is good. So we’re going to discuss, names.

 

From one side of the fence when a person calls for a name change for a sports team, a mall or whatever, the other side thinks that group or person, “has way to much time on their hands.” If you keep reading, you’ll realize that I too, have way to much time.

 
   Recently in Canada, Natan Obed, president of Inuit Tapiriit Kanatami, a national Inuit organization, called for a name change of the CFL’s Edmonton Eskimos. He thinks the name is derogatory to First Nations peoples. This is a lot like what the Washington Redskins are going through. Speaking as an old school white guy, ok “Redskins” might be pushing the boundary a bit. We can all understand that one.

 
   If you want to get silly about things, the Chicago Bears or Detroit Lions should have PETA in a fighting mad mood. How can you malign good animals that? So what’s next, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers pissing off a Somalian Pirate Assoc.? The CFL’s Ottawa Red Blacks will have to do a name change, because I’m sure there’s a Communist Afro-Canadian Organization. Another sport will be touched as well, Womans Hockey. They’ll have to come up with a new name for each 20 minutes of play. There will be some feminist group complaining about the word “Period.”

 
   I’m mentioned all this because I’ve grown up with a name that could offend someone. When I worked in radio I had more than one boss ask me to change my name. “Cox” might offend people is what I heard. I grew up with the name and I’m proud of the name my Father gave me. So it’s not going to change. That explanation was good enough for any station I worked at. Do I stand up and yell that the poultry business having to change the name of Roosters? Oh Boo-hoo, someone might construe that I’m gutless and might think I’m a chicken. Bite me! I can’t tell how many times through school and at radio events that someone, thinking they’re so smart, has called me “Harry” or “Is your sisters name Anita?”. Now, as a stand-up comic, I can make fun of my name and I’m getting paid to do it. Who’s the smart one now?

 
   They say, that if you are picked on a lot, you grow up either really tough or you develop a sense of humour. I chose the latter. A lot of us wish that these complainers would do the same. Laughter is a gift, use it or Get Off My Lawn.

Bryan Cox (Radio Host, Comedian, Author, Speaker)

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Canada’s New… Pot Anthem

Canada has a new Government. The Liberal Party promised during the election campaign that they would make Pot legal. Everyone knows that “BC Bud” is amongst the best in the World. Not to mention the healing power of British Columbia’s amazing little plant. There has been no timetable set out about when the legalization will take place but it will happen. Things will change in Canada when this legalization takes place. Here’s our rendition of what the National Anthem might sound like when Canada opens the door. This was put together by Bryan Cox and Jason leBlanc.

 

Bryan Cox (Radio Host, Author, Speaker and Comedian)

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