Hey, Baby Boomer so you’re getting older and you don’t know what to expect. Try these on for size.
You know you’re getting old….when you can remember the day when you could pronounce all the NHL’s players names, Mahovlich was the hardest. (Canada)
When someone offers you a “joint” now you automatically think, ‘would that be a knee or hip?’
You order the super TV pack, just because it has the Weather Channel.
Back in the day, we remember yelling “Hey, Culligan Man”. Today we know why. He’s the only one that’ll come running when you slip in the tub.
Becoming a senior is great, because if you happen to end up in prison, you won’t be getting all those romantic looks from cellblock D.
Becoming a senior means you understand you really won’t be getting romantic looks from anyone.
Getting older means some bodily functions are like swallowing scrabble tiles. You know one good sneeze, could spell disaster.
When you and your buddies wanted to go to the Drive-In. The ones with no money always got in….in the trunk.
You can remember when a “Race Issue” was arguing about who ran the fastest.
We finally understand why babies are so cantankerous … plastic and paper underwear.
The kids today love the movie”Frozen.” We lived it, always playing hockey on an outdoor rink no matter the temperature. (Canada and Alaska)
You end up having to wear Bi-Focals or the new term, Progressive Lenses. This is good guys, everything is so much larger when you look through the bottom half of the glasses. Just make your wife wear them to bed.
You remember how our sense of humour was formed around Grade One. OH, how our parents laughed, when you asked for a ride to school. “What are ya kid, some kind of comedian?”
Remembering that when you had a job, phoning in fake sick on the weekend was not an option. Your parents made you go to work. Hey, they’d even give you a ride. A ride to school NO WAY but ride to work…Oh, Hell Ya!
To the old and young never be afraid to speak out and up. The most important saying you need to know that can apply to so may people and so much in your life, is “Hey, Get Off My Lawn!”
You think that the Led Zeppelin cover band performing at the old folks home, should have sang “Stairlift to Heaven.”
So to the seniors that are feeling shelved, it’s time to get up read a paper, watch the news, learn something new on the computer and most important of all, stay engaged with your surroundings with a sense of humour. Don’t let yesterday use up to much of today.
To all the kids and grandkids, call you’re parents and tell them you’re thinking of them and you love them, while you still have the chance. Remember you always learn lessons from their past, which gives you the future, where you can apply them.
Thanks for taking the time to read this. If you laughed give it a “like” and pass it on. If you didn’t “Hey Get Off My Lawn”
Bryan Cox (Radio Host, Speaker, Comedian and Author)
Hey, Get Off My Lawn 